Do you still have your period?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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