the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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