Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
