Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
