Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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