My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
only you would photoshop your dick
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
