kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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