Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize