even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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