At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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