If i come over, it means nothing
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
