I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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