Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
