you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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