nut hugger
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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