I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
