so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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