When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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