Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They took my balls.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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