It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
