it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
