I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
