he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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