So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
