Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
