ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
