Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
