You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I met the friendliest cop last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
