and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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