i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
home. puking in laundry basket.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
