I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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