ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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