You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize