It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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