It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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