Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
