is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
