So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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