So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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