hell yes lets make some ravioli
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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