I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
