I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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