Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
