with your own penis?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
