Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
