Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
