But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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