I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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