Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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