My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
