she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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