I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
