If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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