Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
