i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I see more hoeing in ur future
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