Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
