We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
