I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
