remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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