were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
