i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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