no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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