69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize