Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
