That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
